Happy Shitty Holidays

Hello and happy December, everyone,

I’m writing to share my final Patreon offering of the year—more below, but tl;dr, it’s an original Christmas song I wrote 17 years ago. One of the good and sad ones, obviously.

Also, a little housekeeping—I am about to go on a bit of a touring hiatus, but if you happen to be in Los Angeles in January, I will be playing one last duo show on January 11th! After months of having my life split between coasts this will mark my first show as an official LA resident, so please come through if you’re in the area. It’s in the daytime, it’s outside, what’s not to love? (Sorry, winter people!) Tickets available HERE.

Also, I had a handful of beautiful posters left over from tour, and I have signed them and made them available on my Bandcamp page. Perhaps you or someone you know needs a little last minute holiday gift? There are only a very few left and they won’t be re-printed so act fast if you want one!

Wishing each of you love, light, and an endless supply of your personal coping mechanism of choice,

JW

PS. Another year, another chance to thank the sweet fan who made me my JW-1 Christmas ornament, pictured below. Thank you!

Happy Shitty Holidays

I have a confusing relationship with this time of year. On the one hand, the romantic in me absolutely loves Christmas—an excuse to lean deeply into the nostalgia and sentimentality of my life, to mark the passing of time, and to believe, for a short time, that magic is real. I don’t mean anything supernatural, necessarily. What I yearn for at this time of year is a distinctly more earthly type of magic: the magic of collective belief. The belief that something—a single day, perhaps— could be special, meaningful enough that it would allow us to put aside our failings and shortcomings, our anger and our resentments, and show up as the best versions of ourselves. Corny? Absolutely: the well-trod subject matter of each of the approximately four-thousand formulaic holiday films I will attempt to self-lobotomize myself with this year. But also—absolutely real! And I think I still un-ironically love Christmas because it was my first introduction to this power. When I was a kid, I watched that type of Christmas magic perform miracles—even in years when money for gifts was non-existent and circumstances were fairly dire, everyone showed up and put their best foot forward—“after all, it’s Christmas!” In this way, good old Christmas magic is responsible for some of the purest and most unblemished memories of my life thus far.

Unfortunately, keeping up a perfect holiday season track-record is impossible, and the older I get, the more I’ve had to accept that Christmas, like life, can be deeply disappointing. But, for me at least, adjusting my expectations has been helpful. When we idealize something like a holiday, we heighten its power to wound us, experiencing its inevitable imperfections as distinct personal failings.

To this, I say: let’s give it a rest. Life is hard enough without us piling all of this unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Here’s a (fun?) fact about me: I hate obligatory gift-giving. But I’m trying to learn to be more honest with myself and the people I love about my needs and limits. This year, up to my ears in moving boxes and low on funds, I told my family and friends I was skipping the entire holiday gifting endeavor. It didn’t feel great, but was it the better of the two options? Absolutely. Maybe some folks are feeling salty about it behind my back, but so be it. And hopefully for some it was a welcome relief.

So, here we are: another holiday season—and, for me, it’s become increasingly difficult to perform ‘cheer’ on command. So, instead, I’m trying to learn to let the holidays be as messy as life is— allowing space for myself and the people I love to be human, and flawed. We can’t out-run the evils of the world, and we can’t fix them (at least, not all of them, not fully, not right now.) Nor should we need to ignore them in order to give ourselves the moments of sweetness and beauty and pure, simple rest that we require to continue to live. I’m hoping the more I learn to ask for what I need, the easier it will be to expand, to make room to carry all of it, and show up honestly for the people I love. There are still so many moments of beauty and unexpected grace, large ones and small ones, every day we are lucky enough to still be alive. So let’s all try to let go of the useless suffering and self-flagellation. You are also allowed, at this time of year, to fill your own cup.

My ‘present’ to you all is an original Christmas song that I wrote when I was in my early twenties. The year was 2007, so that means I was…21 years old. Wow, okay! It is called, appropriately enough, A Twenty-Something Christmas. My singing voice sounds absurdly childlike to my ears now. The concerns are of a different era of my life—I was only beginning to contend with how much the conventional path was not built for me— but the energy is oddly familiar, even to my 38-year-old self. Once a depress-o, always a depress-o, I guess!

Truly the best moments of my year were spent out in the world, making music, and connecting with so many of you. To each and every one of you who has made a point of supporting my work this year—on Patreon or elsewhere—thank you. It’s because of you that I’m able to devote my life to art-making for yet another year: an immense privilege, for which I am beyond grateful.

Happy Shitty Holidays!

May the beauty find you, too—

JW